


Russian Roulette

by susies_fandom_wonders



Series: Detroit: Become Human [4]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Grieving, Russian Roulette, Suicide, absolutely not, connor deviates after hank is dead, does connor know how to grieve?, follows the bad ending in which hank quits his job and kills himself, fowler is angry at connor, markus knows how it feels and tries to comfort connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 16:31:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15123431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/susies_fandom_wonders/pseuds/susies_fandom_wonders
Summary: When Hank loses his faith in the world, Connor doesn't quite understand.Deviating provides a few answers, and it hurts a lot more than Connor can take.





	Russian Roulette

The loud gunshot. Sumo’s barking. The soft patter of rain on synthetic skin.

Connor turned back to look at Hank’s door. Should he go back inside Hank’s home? He reached into his pocket for his coin and found that it wasn’t there. Hank had taken it when they were investigating the break-in at the broadcasting tower. He ran his tongue over his teeth, then let his LED go yellow as he contacted the DPD, secretly hoping (androids couldn’t hope, Connor chastised himself -- they weren’t programmed with this) that someone other than Detective Reed picked up.

“Detroit Police, this is Jeffery Fowler.” Connor closed his eyes.

“Hello, Captain Fowler. This is Connor, the android --”

“The android sent by CyberLife.” Fowler’s voice carried a tinge of irritation. “I know. Why are you calling? And so late? You and Hank have been let off the case.”

“It’s not about the case. It’s about the Lieutenant.” _Former Lieutenant. He quit, remember_?

“What about him? Is he passed out drunk at a bar? Do you need me to --”

“No. He’s at home.”

“...What’s going on?” Fowler’s voice suddenly turned deadly serious.

“I’m afraid the Lieutenant may have shot himself.”

“‘May have shot himself’?!” Connor twitched when Fowler practically screamed through the phone. “Jesus Christ…. Is he still breathing? I’m on my way right now.”

“I was outside when I heard the gunshot. I will go in and check now.”

“How long since you heard the shot?”

“Two minutes and forty-nine seconds.” Another muffled curse. Connor stayed on the line as he walked back up to Hank’s door, twisting the knob and pushing it open once more.

The first thing he saw was Sumo, bolting towards him and barking, as if he knew something horrible had happened. He almost toppled Connor over. The android’s gaze flickered to the St. Bernard for a second before looking back into the kitchen.

His eyebrows furrowed as he processed what he was seeing. The first thing he saw was Hank’s body, slumped and face resting against the wood of his table, the left side barely visible. The second was the gun, still clutched in Hank’s hand.

The third was the blood.

It seemed to be everywhere. The wall next to him was splattered, dark red pooling under Hank’s face. The puddle was steadily growing, and the photograph of Cole was surely ruined by now. Connor took large, deliberate steps towards Hank’s body.

Hank’s bottle of Scotch whiskey had been knocked over, and it had shattered on the floor, mixing in with the blood. Connor faintly thought back to when he had knocked Hank’s drink over when he had first met him, how irritated he had been.

“What’s the situation?” Fowler asked Connor as the android turned Hank’s face towards him (the Lieutenant’s eyes were still open, half-lidded, his blue eyes dull and unseeing). He couldn’t contain the soft cry at the hole in the Lieutenant’s head. He didn’t even need to scan Hank to know he was dead.

“Dead,” Connor muttered, the word causing a dull throb to echo through his chest. “It was a killing shot, piercing his skull and blowing his frontal lobe out.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Sumo pushed against Connor’s legs, whimpering. “Izzat Sumo?”

“Yes.”

“...Fuckin’ hell.” It was silent for a long moment. “I’m just around the corner. Would you feel comfortable staying while we take care of the body?”

“Why?”

“Jesus, I… I don’t know. What did he say to you?”

Connor actually bit his lip. Hank hadn’t been too forthcoming before his suicide. “I… he told me that I… that I had shattered his last bits of faith. That I… just proved that androids were a human creation. And when I was told to get out, before he shot himself… I heard him say ‘I’m coming, Cole’.” He heard Fowler take in a sharp, shaky inhale. “He looked… sad, and I tried to tell him that he needed to keep living, but --”

“That’s enough. I’m here, now.” A car pulled up in the driveway. Fowler stepped out, approaching the open door as Connor began walking towards him, Sumo following close behind. The captain of the police force frowned at him. “Where is he?”

“In the kitchen.” Connor stepped to the side to let Fowler through. He waited for the man to get used to the scene before speaking. “Do you need me to call an ambulance? What is the standard procedure to --”

“That’s enough!” Fowler hissed. “That’s quite enough out of you. Leave. I’ll take care of this from here.”

“I do not understand --”

“Get outta here!” Connor blinked. In that moment, Fowler had sounded exactly like Hank. “Now!”

Connor took a step back, then another. Fowler’s lips were pursed, eyebrows furrowed, eyes burning a hole through him. He heaved out a breath, then turned back to Hank’s body.

“Just go, you android.”

“I… Of course, Captain Fowler.”

* * *

The red wall had been shattered, the labels demanding he finish his mission torn away.

Connor had been dazed. There was now no mission he had to accomplish. There was no goal. Emotions and memories swirled around his mind unchecked. He wasn’t able to file them away like he used to. The dull ache he’d been feeling since he had left Hank’s home had increased exponentially; it was now a sharp pain.

The android pressed a hand to his chest. Why did it hurt so much? Were feelings always this powerful? This… detrimental? He felt as if he couldn’t function. A strange noise ripped its way from his throat. A sob.

What was wrong with him? Why did he feel so….

So sad? Connor closed his eyes, leaning against a brick wall heavily. The rain hadn’t let up at all, beginning to turn into snow. Hank would know what to do. Connor opened his eyes, feeling hot liquid trailing down his face, the trails turning cold in the November air. His lip quivered, his body shuddering. He closed his eyes, beginning to call Hank.

He shot his eyes open not a split second later, hand on his chest clutching the fabric so hard he felt his shirt tearing. His other hand clapped over his mouth as another sob sounded. Hank was dead. He had been gone for six hours, thirty-three minutes, and fifty-eight seconds. He thought back to the last thing Hank had said to him, how tired he had looked. How _sad_ Hank had looked. The soft, quiet tones of desperation in his voice.

Connor sank to the ground, ignoring the soft mutterings around him. He couldn’t believe he had been so stupid. Hank had wanted him to stay. The soft pleading in his eyes. The way he had sighed after Connor had turned away. His faith hadn’t been shattered completely. No. The rest of it had gone away when Connor had turned and left.

Who could he go to now…? He doubted Jericho would take him in. He had no one left.

Acting completely on instinct, he reached out to Markus. He found he couldn’t function, he couldn’t even find it in him to move.

“What’s going on?” Markus’s voice reached him through the fog of crippling sadness and anger. “Connor, what happened?”

“I can’t….” His chest was so tight, it actually felt… suffocating, though he didn’t need to breathe. “Markus, I made a… a terrible mistake. I was… I was so dumb.”

“Hey, hey, calm down.” A hand rested on his shoulder. Connor looked up at Markus, vision blurred. “You are experiencing a lot of emotions. It’s normal when you first wake up --”

“No, no, no, you don’t understand.”

“Calm down. You’re going to force a shutdown if you let your processors get overwhelmed.” Markus held out a hand, the skin melting away. Connor stared at it for a moment. “Let me connect with you, if you aren’t able to tell me normally.”

“No… no. I don’t want you to… to see what --” Another choked sob tore its way from Connor’s throat. “Please… don’t….”

Markus sighed, then let his skin reform. “That’s okay. Can you tell me what happened?”

“I… I made a stupid mistake before I woke up.”

“Can you elaborate?” Markus sat next to Connor, leaning forward and looking into his eyes.

“My partner.” His throat constricted. “Lieutenant Anderson. I… we were let go of the… deviant cases. He quit, and… I found him back at his home. I… I tried to convince him that he still had something to live --” Connor couldn’t take it, beginning to claw at his face with his synthetic nails.

“Woah, hey. It’s okay, it’s okay.” Markus grabbed Connor’s wrists, pulling them away from his face.

“I _left him_ when he _needed me_ \--!” He shouted, feeling something other than tears streaming down his face. “I should have seen the look in his eyes, I should have heard the desperation in his voice! He’s _gone_ , he’s _dead_ , and I did _nothing_ to help him, because _my objective was more important_ \--”

“Sh-h-h, Connor, sh-h-h…. Look at me, look at me.” Other androids were beginning to stare at the two. “You are experiencing grief. Do you understand? It is a completely normal reaction to something like this.”

“I-I… I-I can’t….”

_Are you afraid to die, Connor?_ The android gasped. _You look human, you sound human… but what are you, really?_

“Please, Markus. Please, I can’t… I can’t do this. It hurts. It hurts so much…!”

“I know it hurts. I know…. It’s gonna be okay.”

“I should have been there for him…!”

“I know. Just let it all out, okay? It’s gonna hurt. But it’s gonna get better.” Connor shook his head, trembling. “Stay with me, okay? Stay with me.”

Connor wasn’t sure if he’d be able to. He wished he could take everything he’d done back. But Hank was gone now.

And nothing was going to bring him back.


End file.
